Before I begin the letter, I'll give you some background info on this.....I wrote this in Feb 2010 when I was going through a pretty rough patch with a really invaluable friend of mine.I never gave the letter to the intended person but the situation sorted itself out, thankfully. Now that I read the letter again I feel as if majority of that letter fits not just that one friendship but most of the relationships that have ever gone wrong in my life (or currently are not in a great shape) and probably in your life too. Read on and tell me what you think.
sounds odd, right? Since when do we begin our conversations with 'hello'? By the way when was our last conversation?
I thought of posting this to you (through your door ofcourse) but I seeem to be suffering from a 'crisis-of-guts' lately. Its easier to blog & hope that you would read it.
Hmmmmmm.........how do I start? I'm tired of hoping that the sun would suddenly shine & things would be okay. Everything worthwhile always takes up a lot of effort & our friendship is definitely worth the effort. Only I dont know where to begin. I tried (& I got vibes that where colder than siberia or so I thought.......correct me if I misinterpret you, I have been doing that a lot lately.....)
I have stopped trying to think who's fault it was. That would only make things worse as I dont think it was my fault & you obviously don't think it was yours (and you think it was my fault while I think it was yours). It doesnt really matter who's fault it was. The problem is that the other is not willing to forgive (was the mistake so life-threatening or rather so 'friendship-threatening'?). Does the past hold such little importance?
I remember the first time I saw you, you had a big smile on your face, the kind of smile that makes the world smile back at you. Since then we have shared some great times together. You have been a good friend (I don't think I was bad either). But the way we have been acting these past few days, as if the other person is a part of the wall....its time to stop. Years from now, when I take a walk down the memory lane and I remember you, I want to be able to call you up and talk to you which won't be possible if this cold war scenario continues any longer.
These past few days I had started thinking that you just didn't care but now I realize that it was insufferably arrogant of me to think that I am the only one who feels. Someone like you who gets hurt so bad must care so much.
They say time heals but all time does is solidify change so if something is bad & you leave it at that, it gets worse & then there's no going back. We don't really have a lot of time left together so lets be friends all over again.